I am pretty small...

in the general scheme of things...

Despite all my ranting and ravings, i do have a pretty 'easy' job, not quite your bomb specialist or nuclear physicist or A&E doctor. The things or people i come into contact with, some despite their disabilities, are still generally a cheerful, upbeat lot. Sure where i work, we have our difficulties and problems (geez, i even have a complain or two about a couple of people *heh heh*) but we are still in our little protected little circle.

I lead a good life. A mainly-wholesome one at that. I don't smoke or party/drink too much. I have regular friends (well, most of them i think, except for a couple of nutheads) and a mostly functional (than dysfunctional, though at times i do wonder about that) family. I have a dog and a cat. I have a car and a nice roof over my head. At the age of 28, i may not have many savings but i am not in debt of any kind. I don't overspend (hell, i don't even like to shop!) and knows my credit limit.

I have a great relationship with a caring guy whom i think i can share my life with, which i worked at for many years (and finally paid off). I don't come into contact with death or sadness as often as i think i do. I had my share of trials and suffered through my 'valleys of depressions' but there were always a helping hand even when i least expected it.

I don't hold big thoughts though sometimes i think i can. It is humbling when i meet people who has sacrificed and people who in my mind, are great people. Not so much by the materials that they have acquired but by the qualities and what they have given to others. And there are so many people like that. Like the therapist who had worked 27 years and has an interest in politics. Like the middle-age lady who is so proud to have held on to a job for 15 years despite being autistic. Like the guy who quit his high-paying job just to travel and volunteer.

So many of them.

And so, i am small. In my itsy bitsy way. Secure and snug at times.

This blog is my indulgent i know and i write about all these little things that mean so little in the bigger scheme of things. I know. I am aware of that. But i am aware too of other things. But just seldom 'self-less' enough to look beyond myself to put it down into words here.